Shraadh with Shraddha
If your parents are no more, do you miss them? Do you wish you had said, done …? After our parents and grandparents pass on to the higher realms, there may be feelings of gratitude for all that they did, or feelings of remorse for not having done enough for them while they were alive. There may be reverence and beatitude or grudges and misgivings … but the very fact that one has been born human, is enough reason to offer gratitude. Human birth is precious, simply because it is the vehicle that can be used to cross the ocean of Bhavsagar (Ocean of life) and attain Moksha (salvation). The gross body, given by our parents is a great gift. And the opportunity to offer gratitude comes in the Pitr-Paksh or Shraadh period.
Our forefathers who reside in the higher realms and have not yet been reborn, are allowed to visit Bhu-Lok (Earth) during the Shraadh days. Our scriptures say that we should offer them a meal during Pitr-Paksh. How do we do this? The simplest thing to do is to put some water, milk, flowers, black sesame seeds, rice, jow (barley) seeds in a pitcher of water and offer it to the ancestors, while facing the South. If we do this with Shraddha (reverence) while taking their name and gotra, that is enough Shraadh-Tarpan.
We may also feed a brahmin with the feeling that we are feeding our ancestor. Our offering gets conveyed to them in its subtle form. I often wondered how that worked. If the meal offered to the brahmin reached them … How come they eat just one meal in the year? What do they eat on other days?
I now understand that one year on the Earth is equivalent to one day in Pitr-lok. The earthly year starts in March-April when the new Samvatsara begins. So Pitr-Paksh that comes in September-October is like mid-day for our Pitrs. They have one meal, at this time. The day of passing of the ancestor, in the Lunar calendar, determines his Shraadh day. If one doesn’t know the Shraadh date for ancestors, it can be done on the last day i.e. on the Sarv-Pitri-Amavasya. Feeding a Brahmin during Shraadh, tantamount to feeding the ancestor.
The scriptures also tell us to put some kheer under a Banyan or Peepal tree. Interestingly, when kheer is kept under a Peepal or Banyan tree, it is most likely eaten by crows. Crows also eat the fruits of the Peepal and Banyan trees. Wherever the crows poop, the undigested seeds get deposited and new saplings of Peepal and Banyan grow. Peepal is the only tree that emits oxygen even at night. Banyan has medicinal properties galore. This was an indigenous way designed by the Rishis, for the propagation of these valuable trees.
In 2025, Pitr-Paksh begins on Purnima, September 7th. The first Shraadh is on September 8th and the last on Sarv-Pitr-Amavasya, September 22nd.
Shraadh is done to pay homage to our ancestors, pray for their souls to be happy and peaceful, wherever they are. The ancestors in turn, send us their blessings! In these days we do not do anything auspicious because these days are dedicated to our ancestors. We do not perform weddings, mundan, greh-pravesh etc.
Do find time to honour the memory of those who made you, in more ways than one. And while you do this, do involve your children. They shall learn from your example; and the tradition shall stay alive even after you are gone.
Published in Indian Express on 31.08.2025 https://indianexpress.com/article/cities/chandigarh/timeless-tales-doing-shraadh-with-shraddha-10222260/
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