The Power of Silence

 Down memory lane … like all children, ours too were disobedient sometimes. To show them my annoyance, I would go silent and refuse to talk to them till they realised their mistake. Silence was second nature to me. Much later in life, I learnt to express myself and put forth my viewpoint. However, I still prefer the ‘silent approach’ in many situations.

My Grandma used to say, “Ek chup, te sau sukh!” That was sound advice. In times of argument or confrontation if you keep quiet, you get the chance to introspect; and perhaps realise that it was your fault after all. If it was the other person’s fault, he may or may not mull over it, but it leaves you peaceful … because you didn’t answer back. Because words spoken can never be retracted. They are like arrows that have left the bow. They cause wounds, deeper then arrows.

My aunt used to live in a large joint family. As a teenager I had once asked her how she managed to maintain her poise and calm in the midst of so many family members. She just smiled and covered her mouth with the pallu of her saree. She then plugged her ears with her fingers and smiled. That was the secret … block your ears, shut your mouth but keep smiling!

Some years back I asked a similar question to the senior most couple in a large joint family. They were running the house and funding all household expenses. The lady said, “Mooh band, tae batua khulla!” That was profound!

These learnings, I have gathered over the years. They are life lessons that perhaps no book can teach. Emotions run high in Indian homes. It is impossible to please everyone. Each generation thinks differently. And when multiple generations co-exist in the same house, it takes a lot for the one at the helm of affairs to keep things going peacefully.

Recently, during a loud chatter in a family get together, my two year old granddaughter lisped, “Chup karke baat karo, hamari dolly ne sona hai.” Huh? How does one stay quiet and still talk?

The spoken word is powerful no doubt. But let’s not underestimate the power of silence. Silence can convey love, empathy, sympathy, anger, gratitude, assent, dissent and much more. Silence can be comforting yet killing. Silence can mark solitude and bliss. Speech is Silver; Silence is Gold. The unspoken word is more potent than the spoken one. Silence is the language of the realized. It provides the opportunity for one to calm down and clear brain fog. It serves as a powerful tool for personal growth. It leads to better self-awareness and enhances the power of self-reflection. And silence can talk … the babies seem to know!

My father would often sit alone in our garden. He would have no phone, newspaper or anything else to occupy him. I once asked him what he was doing. I said, “I am thinking.” Back then, I was too young and immature to understand the deep meaning of what he said. My father Justice MM Punchhi, retired as the Chief Justice of India. He was a thinker. At the same time he was a man of letters. It is now that I realise that sitting in silence afforded him the opportunity to think with clarity. It was in that silent time that solutions to tough problems would come to him like a spark of illumination. He delivered many landmark judgements.

In the present day, silence seems to be a forgotten art. The most distracting thing we have in our lives is the cell phone. It surely plays a huge role in keeping us connected with our family, friends and work. But the distraction caused by the endless marketing calls, meaningless forwards, social media notifications … cannot be overlooked. Watching reels and videos that add no value to our lives are perhaps one of the reasons we are often so sapped of energy. It is up to us to sweep out the unwanted distractions from our lives and stay focussed on what is important to us.

There is an old story about the great scholar Socrates. An acquaintance said to him, “Do you know what I just heard about your friend?” Socrates replied, “Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. Let’s put it through the ‘Triple Filter Test’.”

“The first filter is Truth. Are you absolutely sure that what you are going to tell me, is true?” “No,” said the man. “Actually I just heard about it and …” Socrates said, “All right. So you don’t really know if it’s true or not.”

“The second filter is the filter of goodness. Is what you are going to tell me about my friend, something good?” The man replied, “No, on the contrary …”

Socrates continued, “Let’s see if you can pass the third filter, the filter of usefulness. Is what you want to tell me, going to be useful to me?” “No, not really.” Socrates concluded thus, “If what you wish to tell, is neither true nor good, nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?” That’s why Socrates was a great philosopher and was held in such high esteem. If each human uses this triple filter each time there is an urge to indulge in loose talk etc.  the world would be a quieter and more serene place.

On a higher plane, it is said that all sounds or words once uttered, stay in the cosmos. Words are powerful things. We should orate with care. The vibrations of words spoken, keep resonating in the higher realms. Perhaps that is why, there is a sense of calm, peace and purity in all places of worship. The cumulative effect of prayers is potent.

I was listening to OM chanting on YouTube one day. OM is actually made of three elements, A-U-M. Here A refers to creation, U to preservation and D to dissolution. While listening and concentrating on AUM, the sound of the universe, I realized that there were four elements, not three. The fourth was the intermittent gap of silence between one invocation and the next; and it was potent. It was charged. It was deep. It was powerful. It was magical.

Prayer is talking to God. Meditation is listening to God. Here I was, talking to God as I chanted AUM along with the singer. And in each silent gap, I got to listen to Him! Sri Sathya Sai Baba says, “It is only in silence that you can hear the voice of God!” And I experienced it first-hand. When 108 chants got over, I clicked on ‘stop’, to soak in the vibrations created by the soulful rendition of the primeval Pranav. I sat in silence to hear and absorb the inaudible around me. Blissful it was.

Whenever we wish to speak, let’s ask ourselves … Is it kind, is it true, is it important? Will it improve upon the silence?

Published in the Daily Guardian https://epaper.thedailyguardian.com/2025/11/28/e-paper-today-chandigarh-29-november-2025/