A father’s quiet hand beneath the hammer: lessons in strength, sacrifice and soul
All fathers make sacrifices for their offspring. The role of mothers is always glorified, but usually not the fathers'.
The Hindus believe in Pitri Rinn, or being indebted to our father, for the gift of human life. Down memory lane, while visiting our farm in village Siasatpur, my father showed us an old man making utensils. He was gently beating an iron pot with a hammer. He placed his other hand just beneath the part he was hammering; to support the metal, gauge and tweak the strength of the beating so that he could make a perfect ‘handi’. And this is exactly what fathers do. They may, in the interest of discipline, be stern and strict; they may even raise their hand to keep us on track. Fathers may use the ‘carrot and stick approach’, but they do not allow others to do so. If anyone else raises a stick at us, they are there to protect.
When Daddy was a young lawyer in the 1960s, an old man from a village in Haryana came to engage him in a land dispute. After drafting his petition, my father told him to go out and see the newly built, beautiful city of Chandigarh. Our home was in Sector 8.
The next day, my father asked him about his evening excursion. He said, “Main chownk mein khada tha. Koi ingge bagh reha tha; koi ungge bhag reha tha. Mannhe samajh nahi aayi, bhai kidher jaa rahe ho? Itni jaldi ki baat ki hai?” In his simple rustic manner, he conveyed that he had stood at a roundabout on the Madhya Marg and witnessed cars and two-wheelers zipping all around. He couldn’t understand where they were going and what their hurry was. The narrative of that simpleton touched my father. If we pause to ponder this little anecdote, we realise that if we view life as an onlooker, this is exactly what we see. Everyone is in a hurry to achieve more and more. But, is this the purpose for which we were born? The truth is that the soul is a witness to everything that happens around the gross body. The real self is the soul. In the fast pace of life, we need to pause and ask ourselves if we are headed towards achieving the purpose of human birth.
All fathers make sacrifices for their offspring. The role of mothers is always glorified, but usually not the fathers’. Here is a poem that I recently came across. It touched a chord in my heart.
‘If one day my voice goes quiet and I can't guide you like before.
If my hands tremble with age, and I can't hold you anymore.
Please don't think I stopped loving you, I just ran out of strength, not care.
I tried to build a life for you, even when life wasn't fair.
There were nights I stayed silent, hiding storms behind a smile.
Just to make your world feel safe, even for a little while.
If I ever failed your dreams, forgive the man I tried to be.
Because everything I had in me … I gave it all to you, endlessly.
My father, Justice MM Punchhi, was the 28th Chief Justice of India. He taught by example how to live a life of honesty, integrity and discipline. He was a man of letters and encouraged us to read. I admired his ability to connect the ancient to the modern and deduce how the ancient teachings documented in our scriptures hold good even today.
A part of my father’s daily prayer said, ‘Tum daata dukh bhanjana, meri karo sambhaal. Jo main poot-kapoot hoon, tohe pita ko laal’. Meaning: O Lord, you are the destroyer of suffering, please look after me. Whether I am a good child or a bad one, I am still your darling!
As my earthly father surged ahead on the journey of the soul, I realised that my divine father is eternally with me. It is hugely comforting to know that the divine father is always there ... Happy Father’s Day!
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Published in the Indian Express on 01.06.2026 https://indianexpress.com/article/cities/chandigarh/fathers-day-priya-tandon-timeless-tales-strength-sacrifice-soul-10716871/?
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